In search of a Home

Life is fragile, and good, and beautiful and complex at times, and almost never what we expect it to be. 

Most of all, it is fleeting.

Sometimes, it even feels foreign.

Daily routines I become so accustomed to, so familiar with -

moments that would usually be filled with meaning and beauty -

can sometimes feel achingly empty;

hollow patterns only echoing of Home.

What is "Home" though, truly? And why does it feel like we naturally measure our sense of comfort and acceptance at given moments in time by our individual experiences or perceptions of the idea?

Is 'Home' a need to feel safe and warm inside, out of reach of any harsh and volatile storms, or danger? Is it a relationship, a community? A nation? 

Whichever it is, it seems to dictate our sense of direction, the relationships we form, the places we choose to live… the journey that we're all on.

Home. Where is that?

Many of us have had a sense of 'Home' modeled well to us, and the rest of our lives are spent following that pattern of creating a home for ourselves, and others. 

Then there are those who have never known what it is to have one - a safe place to retreat to, to find rest, and comfort and warmth. And safety.

Yet their lives are still lived in search of such a place, or person. It's like we were born with that purpose, born in search of a place, or a person - or something - to call Home. Somewhere to belong.

On the other hand, what happens when you do have a physical place to call home, and life still feels void of any sense of it? A relationship feels foreign, distant… A loved one passes away; money runs out, a house burns down, people change their minds… A nation goes to war, injustice ruins peace; trust is abused, innocence is lost.

These things happen frequently in our lives. Homes are often disintegrating. No one is really immune to homelessness. 

I have been reminded, in 'homeless' moments such as these, when even life I am well accustomed to can feel foreign, that the beauty I know - in Love, in sunsets and skies; in a hug or a whisper, or a kiss goodnight - is merely a shadow of the beauty I was formed to behold. I am deeply reminded that this place, and everything here, will never be my true home.

I remember that I am just a wanderer here, a traveller passing through.

Not stationary, but ever journeying towards You.

In these fleeting, fragile moments, You are steadfast. 

Your ancient Love outlasts any Love I've ever known;

Tossed about on the shifting seas of my own Trust, in search of a safe harbor,

a place to anchor, I drift… tired and weary.

Like a faithful beacon, glowing out into the dark, 

having witnessed and weathered every storm,

You remain.

The safest harbor, the strongest tower;
Trustworthy.

You are the only one that rescues, that keeps me from sinking.

Solid rock under my feet, upon You I am strong.

Words fill the air, full of promise,

but Your Words are my fortress, my future.

My foundation. 

You have had the first Word from the beginning, 

You who authored life.

'Before the mountains were born,

before You gave birth to the earth

and the World,

from eternity to eternity,

You are God' - Psalm 90:2 CSB

'Say this: "God, you're my refuge.

I trust in you and I'm safe!"

That's right - he rescues you from hidden traps,

shields you from deadly hazards.

His huge outstretched arms protect you -

under them you're perfectly safe;

his arms fend off all harm.

Yes, because God's your refuge,

the High God your very own home,

evil can't get close to you,

harm can't get through the door." - Psalm 91 TM

"My help and glory are in God -

granite-strength and safe-harbor-God -

So trust him absolutely, people;

lay your lives on the line for him.

God is a safe place to be." -Psalm 62:8 ™

He is Home. 

My original home.

I have the privilege of experiencing a beautiful sense of home here on earth; in relationship, in community, in a physical building. But if these 'homes' I encounter are built merely on physical soil, and tangible things - on a desire to feel safe -  my soul will remain homeless. For what we see before us is subject to decay and ruin, it is temporal. 

"The life of mortals is like grass, 

they flourish like a flower of the field; 

the wind blows over it and it is gone,

and its place remembers it no more." 

- Psalm 103:15 NIV -

"O LORD, what are mortals that you should notice us,

mere humans that you should care for us?"

- Psalm 144:3 NLT -

Our humanity seems so indomitable. But at the core, it is fragile.

Yet Jesus became one of us, when he emptied himself of his immortality, and entered our world as a vulnerable, mortal man, with "no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him". And yet "the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all"; he endured it all for us. He absorbed it all, all our ruin and decay, obediently and without complaint, so that death would no longer define us. So that we could build our lives upon Him, who conquered death and rose again, securing our adoption into an eternal household, an eternal kingdom. 

We who are so fragile are yet so precious; the Father placed the highest value on humanity when he saw fit to become one of us, and walk amongst us.

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses,

but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are -

yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence,

so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

- Hebrews 4:15-16 NIV -

In Him we are safe, regardless of what we face here on earth. We were fashioned for eternity; to behold him, in all his radiant beauty.

That is the Good News, the invitation extended to us;  no matter what crumbles and disintegrates momentarily - and it does - HE never fails. He offers himself as our refuge in the midst of failure, or disappointment, or fear; when everything we know has changed shape, he never changes. 

What an opportunity! How amazing it is, how humbling, that he would extend such an invitation to us - wandering vagrants and sinners though we are - over and over again: of making God himself a refuge, and stronghold, and shelter. 

We were born to build a home, but a home far superior - far more secure, than the homes we spend so much time building here on earth. In the end, it's the house built upon the rock that will outlast the storms.

The Home made in Him.

[The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see.] [ Hebrews 11, The Message]

When a Song becomes a Soundtrack...

I love that before a soundtrack becomes a soundtrack, it’s just a random collection of individual songs.

There’s nothing too noteworthy in any individual song in and of itself, other than a catchy melody or creative progression or lyric we might momentarily admire the first time we hear it playing on the radio. But it has no particular personal connection, and soon we’ve moved on and forgotten about it.

Unbeknown to you, that song gets woven into the soundtrack of a film that mirrors back to you the emotions we all feel at one point or another in the story it tells; the challenges, joys, fears, moments and questions we experience in life.

The way you hear that particular song changes entirely from then on. 

It’s a funny thing.

Music completes the picture, it completes our experiences. It seems to explain a depth to things that plain words cannot. Movies would not be movies without a score. Somehow, music becomes essential to telling the WHOLE story, helping us make more sense of it all. It’s almost as if music connects the personal experiences and ordinary scenes of life with so much more meaning than we often feel, and we can identify with films – we love them - because we’re all right here in the grit of everyday life ourselves. And to be reminded that there is meaning to the daily grind, day in, day out, seems to be a constant need for humanity; the highs and lows, the fears and joys, the sorrows and victories. We crave a greater sense of purpose for it all. There’s got to be a method to the madness, surely!

So when a random song helps to interpret part of your story, it suddenly becomes your soundtrack. It has personal significance. That particular song now reminds you of where you’ve been, and what you’ve felt and thought and experienced. What you’ve LIVED. And it means so much more, because of that personal connection. You know it off by heart.

I recently saw The Secret Life of Walter Mitty in the theatre with friends, which got me thinking along these lines, because I found myself wanting to listen to the soundtrack of the movie again afterward, and loved how each song brought back different scenes in the movie. Each song held something it had never held for me before. I had listened to a couple of the artists and songs already, that were in the soundtrack, before seeing the movie, but never thought much of them past the fact that they were pretty good songs. Just standard, Indie pop songs. 

But because I loved the movie, and the message it sends, and identified strongly with its themes, the songs have now taken on new meaning for me. To the point where I wanted to hear them again, to remember what appealed to me about it, and the emotions and feelings I experienced when watching the movie.

This in turn, got me thinking about God, and us, and music, and how He has written a story, that is also incomplete without a soundtrack…

But this soundtrack, we have been given the opportunity to write ourselves.

Each of us has a personal testimony of His saving grace and goodness: a personal experience that has changed the outcome of our lives forever, and given them purpose and Hope for the day in, day out. He has saved us, and allowed us to know his Presence and companionship, day-to-day. That is Life, more abundant and fulfilling than anything else. He created it, and he makes himself available to us, right in the grit of it. He holds it all together. He knows the monotony of a day in, day out. Of joy, and pain and sorrow, rejection, regret, victory, hope, love and laughter. Going home, waking up, spending time with friends, cleaning the house, walking down the street. Working hard. Nothing is too complex or simple for him. He wants to do it all with us, and he showed us this when he sent Jesus to the earth, to proclaim his love and salvation to all people, and invite us to take part in the biggest story there ever was.

It is He that makes beautiful things out of us. He is the author and finisher of Life. Ultimate meaning is found in him. He is the end and the beginning.

The soundtrack to THIS story is our worship. Each of us has a song to sing, whether we’re musical or not; a personal experience to remember and commemorate his involvement in our lives. A platform from which response is due. Our songs together are helping to tell the WHOLE story, so that the watching world’s quest for meaning and purpose will be fulfilled forever, in the release of the complete and perfect picture of HIS love for us, and for them.

I sing, because I want to remember what he’s done for me, remember that I have life, and life abundant, that he stepped into my life, that I had a real and personal experience. My song reminds me of my purpose, and connects others to a bigger picture. A whole, complete picture. A picture the World is waiting to see.

When a song becomes a soundtrack…

Though you might feel like ‘a random song’ no one really listens to, sing, and sing LOUD. Because you are being woven into a much bigger story than just your own, and your song is becoming part of the soundtrack to the greatest ‘movie’ of all time.

All of our ‘random songs’ are making up the soundtrack to HIS story. A story is made complete with music.

Our Worship.

The soundtrack connects us to the story. And it will connect the World to the Story.

[Your decrees have been the theme of my songs wherever I have lived. I reflect at night on who you are, O LORD; therefore, I obey your instructions. This is how I spend my life: obeying your commandments.]

Psalm 119:54-56 NLT

Break Me

I cannot escape from your spirit.

You pursue

my guilty heart, so guarded;

In danger of hardening,

I’m running.

Majesty

saturates these cowering bones

until I am silenced.

My doubtful soul is   e x p o s e d

in Your mercy.

Such radiant mercy,

illuminating everything,

it obliterates my shame in its brilliance.

Suddenly I know my deepest fears are known.

Deeply unworthy, and naked before you

- A huddle of piteous defenses -

My eyes must refocus

and adjust to the light.

Affronted:

my focus is lifted

and fixed on LIFE itself

as floods of Righteousness

erupt like the dawn

and flow forth over me:

Restoring my soul.

My gaze is commanded by You -

There is no other thing that compares.

You who breathed stars,

and stationed the moon in place;

All-powerful and unchanging,

You call my name.

Who am I to run from You?

To presume, as one scorned,

that I have earned a cold-shoulder,

and must wander alone,

when my salvation comes from You only?

You made me, You created me!

Oh, why in guilt do I doubt!

From everlasting to everlasting

You are Lord.

No matter how hard I run,

Grace overtakes me.

Your vulnerability

melts my resistance,

and breaks me;

Here I am, undone.

Who am I that you should care for me,

that you should forfeit your Glory to ransom me?

You know me -

You know how weak I am, that I am only dust!

And how often I fail you.

Yet, true to your promises forever -

slow to anger, and abounding in Love -

You are faithful and just to forgive.

In the scars of Your Son

My sin is absorbed.

[Teach me your ways, O Lord,

That I may live according to your Truth!

Grant me purity of heart,

That I may honor You.

With all my heart I will praise you,

O Lord my God.

I will give glory to your name forever,

For your love for me is very great.

You have rescued me from the depths

Of death.] ~ psalm 86verse11to13

Teach me to T R U S T.

I will trust You

The soothing warmth of the summer air, 

and her spicy, joyful fragrances of freedom 

are conflicting with more sultry, sobering flavors of Autumn; 

there is something changing, shifting. 

Summer's youthful abandon and contagious elation are being steadied 

by the stirrings of wise old Winter, 

who's slumber is drawing to an end. 

It is time to put away foolish revelry, and pay attention 

to the lessons we must learn. 

While Summer energetically encouraged and inspired, 

Winter now cautions with a fatherly wisdom, urging us to use prudence, 

to take note. "You must understand what is to be learned - the things that must be borne, and matured." He gently admonishes. 

While summer taught us abundance, Winter warns us of sacrifice. 

And patient, faithful endurance.   

His movement infuses the merry air with sharper, 

more acute scents of wood smoke and cinnamon - 

inciting caution in the eager breast of Summer; 

Earth pauses...   
Waiting.

[A trickle of fire smoke rises into the fading afternoon sky; 

people are hurrying home earlier, as dusk descends, and cold awakens. 
Leaves are slowly being stained a deep, burnt amber, 

falling sparks of fire from the trees.

Like cinders,  they fall,  carpeting the ground in burning Colour.]   

It is time for season's change. 

And suddenly, the changing seasons flood my heart with memories 

of old, of childhood - wrapping up warm, staying safe and sound inside, 

dreaming into the embers of a dying fire... 

With my fingers wrapped around a steaming mug of something delicious, 

I knew no other life than to be loved and protected. 

But a time came when that safety was shattered, 

a young heart was left exposed, and wounded. 

Too soon I became acquainted with pain, and sacrifice, and loss...  

Summer doesn't last forever. 

Now, there is a lonesome edge to the cold.

Maybe a shift in the seasons - as summer fades and winter advances - 

reminds me of those things;  and for a moment,

my heart is hollowed by the loss. 

I yearn to go home once more, to be - just once - a child again, 

to know the comfort of my Father's arms.

And yet I know now, that without Winters, I will never grow to maturity. 

I won't learn the great lengths YOU went to -

all You gave up,

for us. 

For You love us most:
Your love is surest, and deepest, and strongest.

So I will trust you.

I remember the things you have done; 

Your promise - to be with me always, even to the end of the age - 

and my heart takes courage within me. 

For I remember that You have called me yours, and You are Good.

Though sacrifice ensues, I know that Your grace is enough. 

Teach me to thank you - to bring a sacrifice of praise.

For YOU are my God, and my Hope, and my Salvation, 

and you have carried me thus far. 

When I was young, and broken with pain, 

you comforted me, and clothed me in Peace; 

You revealed Your beauty to my ragged soul, and surrounded me. 

I was abandoned, but You held me close. 

I was wounded, yet you healed me. 
I was ashamed, and you covered me. 

YOU are my help, and my refuge in times of trouble. 

You know all things, and you know what to do.   
You are the only one who keeps your promise forever, 
your Word is unchanging.    

Though time keeps moving, and the sun must rise and set; 

though ocean tides are always turning, and seasons will not stop changing, 

though I may lose something I love, or have found safety in; 

things that, in my own understanding, I need - 

may I lose them in order to gain You. 

Because You are the same yesterday, today and forever,  
And those who put their Trust in you shall never be disappointed.

✟=♥ CROSS=LOVE ✞=♡

We had our first Elevate for the year, as a Creative family, the other night, on the 21st March 2013.

It was so impacting, refreshing, humbling, organic, genuine and pure. 
So many things.
It was such an incredible night of worship and fellowship to be a part of, I'm still thinking about it!

UNITED were with us, and they did the whole new album [ZION] acoustically. Joel spoke throughout the night, between the songs, and gave some context and background to them, which put the album in a whole new light for me. It's so amazing, how much more weight and perspective is added to a song when you understand where it came from, and why it was born... the kind of context that invites us to sing with so much more conviction, because we are singing from a place of RESPONSE. There's so much power in that.
I felt like we actually stepped into a purity of worship that night, that we've not stepped into before - but it was because it felt like we, as a united body, were more fully realizing the truth of what we have in Christ - that we have His love, and His grace, and His mercy upon us, in which we are constantly and forever held. It felt almost as if, finally - a mutual understanding between God and His people was reached. An understanding and accepting, on our part, of the unconditional Love that He has for us, and the relationship He has spent history pursuing. It was like His salvation was beating stronger in our hearts: A confidence that we don't need to run from Him - He knows us, for he created us. And he loves us.
After reading through Romans recently, I've been gaining deeper revelations of what Jesus actually did for US - how simple the gospel truly is, at its core - it's so simple, it's almost unbelievable. That's what I increasingly marvel at! And yet the magnitude and power of what it means for us personally can take so long to sink in, sometimes. I'm only just beginning to understand it more thoroughly for myself! But the more I understand, the more humbled and overwhelmed I am. In our Easter services this Easter, we unpacked a song we've been singing from ZION, called 'The Scandal of Grace'...

I honestly think the simplicity of the Gospel is one reason why so many of us don't fully understand what we have, and have access to, through Christ, and live in it. Because it's all about receiving, having done nothing, and we humans struggle with that. [Why do we struggle so?!]
He loved us so much, he came to set us free; he made it possible for us to stand before the Father even though we are ragged, unworthy, and unfaithful, mistrustful people. He made it possible for us to have a [RELATIONSHIP] with God - the author and creator and sustainer of Life - in every single event and occasion of our lives; in sin and in guilt, in love and in joy. Nothing can separate us from His Love. Nothing.
All we need to do is trust it. And keep trusting it.
But Satan knows just how much guilt and shame and fear and insecurity and pride have the ability to separate, if we believe they separate us from the Father, because all of us fall short of His glory, and we feel it most keenly at times. And so this is where we are often deceived, and separate ourselves from God. Satan knows so well that if we just have the faith to run to the Father in our failures or immaturity or rebellion and insecurities, he will give us the grace and strength that we need, to persevere and overcome.  And g r o w. Because he doesn't condemn us, anymore. Jesus took that condemnation on the cross, and now he offers us victory, and Grace instead. He offers relationship. So the enemy attacks us in our weaknesses, and he lies, in order to get us to hide, and run.

I have.

Yet the Word says that NOTHING can separate us from His love. That isn't just beautiful poetry -
it is the word and promise and authority of God, and it further proclaims that we are sons and daughters of His, who are made righteous and holy because of HIS purpose and will, not anything we have done. It's all because of how much he loves us, and created us to love Him. He has made it so that nothing can get in the way of this, unless we choose to allow it. Jesus was the FIRST BORN, in this great family we are called to be a part of. We are adopted into it by faith. And in it, we are FREE, and we have Him. We love, because HE first loved us.
Because of Jesus' sacrifice - because HE bore our shame, and our guilt - these things no longer disqualify us from His help, or His love, or His blessing and comfort, or His presence. This is the place of highest privilege in which each and every one of us can now stand, if only we would stop trying to earn Love that is not a reward, but a GIFT; it is only in the humble and grateful RECEIVING of it that we are then made Holy. To receive such a gift as RIGHTEOUSNESS without trying to establish our own as "insurance" for it, takes humility, vulnerability and great faith, because by the act of receiving something we didn't earn or establish, we are acknowledging our great NEED for something we are not capable of providing for ourselves. [We are really nothing without Him.] Yet in our present culture, NEED is quite a negative thing. We are encouraged to be independent, self-fulfilled people, who earn their way, pay their way, and sport titles and doctorates and qualifications; "free stuff" is mostly for those who are bold and unashamed enough to claim it.
'The needy ones.'
We would all love to maintain an appearance of security that denies any need for "charity" from anyone else, and if offered, charity can almost have more power to offend than bless the receiver, if it is interpreted as a message of "You look like you are in need"...
Is it really a bad thing to be in need? And be okay with it?
Pride would have us think so.
But at the heart, this is the gospel. God's freely and generously extended grace to ANY one person who is bold and yet humble enough to receive it, regardless of who they are, or what they have done.

Everything that was said at Elevate was incredibly laced with some of the things I've been learning and growing in, in my own faith, over the past month or so, that I felt like the whole service was one giant gift. To hear the echo of something God has gently been teaching you through His word, and through the tangible, personal experience of His love, in another's testimony, is so incredibly encouraging. God's love was so present, for me, through the whole service. It was a complete, united encounter with Him. There is something so impacting about the gospel being laid out afresh in a relevant, creative and authentic way, and then highlighted with songs of worship and gratitude along the way. On reflection, our Elevate service as a whole was like an assortment of words, strong and full of truth in themselves, but once punctuated with songs of love and faith and worship, these words were wound together into one unified, fluent and beautiful passage, that I know must have been written onto so many hearts that night.
The band was also set up in a round, which I love. The worship leaders were seated, and because they were not raised above the congregation, the atmosphere felt so intimate... so much more conducive to our focus being placed wholly on Him; an environment so receptive of the Love he must yearn to pour out on us so much more than he is often given opportunity to. Worship that feels inclusive this way - and united - is so powerful. A moment where everyone is equal to those on their left and right, and in one accord, one stance before God, unafraid, and unashamed -

Family.
I love that.

I so long for my family to understand this, and those to whom their whole lives long, love has been conditional, or extended like a reward.
When I think of all the guilt and inferiority you must feel at times, when you are struggling with something, or keep falling into destructive patterns of guilt and shame, and it becomes harder and harder to keep coming back to God,  because the enemy is telling you that you are not good enough, and won't ever be good enough, my heart breaks. Because I know the loneliness this results in, and the isolation it causes. Feeling like you are the only one who isn't good enough; feeling so alone in your shame, or guilt, or fear, or doubt... I know what it is to feel increasingly unworthy.
Oh, how His heart breaks for you!
It was broken for you. For you were never worthy, and will never be worthy by your own efforts. HE alone is worthy, and yet he willingly chose to bear our unworthiness on the cross - Jesus died for us before we had ever done a single thing, right or wrong, because His Love is a GIFT. We are capable of either accepting it, or rejecting it.We love, because He first loved us.
Whoever You are, He wants You. He loves, because that's who He is. You are so, completely and perfectly loved. You haven't missed your chance. And you don't have to get it together enough to be accepted. If nothing you've done made you worthy of His love in the first place, why would anything you do now condemn you? When you fall - because you will - trust Him. Run to him for strength, and the courage to overcome, even though everything else may be screaming: run FROM him! His Word assures us that he keeps his promises forever, and that he has given us the ABILITY to live for His glory.
If we are saved by grace, which we are, we don't "keep" or maintain our Salvation through our own righteousness, our own efforts. Grace is what sustains us from now on. You didn't save yourself, so you can't BE saved on your own, either. Salvation is a RELATIONSHIP of Trust - continually making the choice to trust the Father's love, believe that his grace is enough in your weaknesses, and depend upon the work of the Holy Spirit in you, to make you Holy and blameless so that on the day of the King's arrival, you will stand before Him redeemed, and radiantly singing His praises.

"God saved you by his special favor when you believed. And

you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation

is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of 

us can boast about it."

Ephesians 2:8 NLT

And He will establish you to the end [keep you steadfast, 

give you strength, and guarantee your vindication; He will

be your warrant against all accusation or indictment so that

you will be] guiltless and irreproachable in the day of our 

LORD Jesus Christ (the messiah). God is faithful (reliable,

trustworthy, and therefore ever true to His promise, and He

can be depended on); by Him you were called into 

companionship and participation with His son, Jesus Christ

     our Lord.                                       1 Corinthians 1:8-9 AMP                                                                

..."by Him you were called into companionship and participation with His son, Jesus Christ our Lord." You have been offered a relationship in which your deepest desires are recognized, your deepest longing for love will be fulfilled, and your weaknesses will be overlooked, because you are forgiven, and Grace abounds for you instead. THAT'S what He so wants you to understand.
Find him for yourself before you conceive an impression or opinion or expectation of Him that is false, and will ultimately leave you disappointed! He has all the time in the World, and he's waiting...

Elevate, and our Easter services so far this year, have stirred my desire to see people really understand Christ's love for them, though we will never completely understand it, in this life. Because I am convinced that you cannot understand much until you understand and experience the Love of God. It isn't just some unattainable ideal - it can be personally experienced, and personally felt, on any day of the week. He loves you.
My own confidence in Jesus' love has been steeled even further still this Easter season. I am so grateful to have the life that I have, here and now, part of the family of God, and part of his church, the more I understand how much others who have gone before me have been without.
This side of the cross is the most privileged place anyone could ever dream of being, and yet, that is the place where we now stand.

As a priest, Christ made a single sacrifice for sins, and that was it!

...It was a perfect sacrifice by a perfect person to perfect some

very imperfect people. By that single offering, he did everything

that needed to be done for everyone who takes part in the purifying

process. The Holy Spirit confirms this: This new plan I'm making

with Israel (You) isn't going to be written on paper, isn't going to be

chiseled on stone; This time "I'm writing out the plan in them, carving

it on the lining of their hearts." He concludes, I'll forever wipe the 

slate clean of their sins. Once sins are taken care of for good, there's 

no longer any need to offer sacrifices for them.

Hebrews 10:12-18 TM

A Beautiful Demolition

It is worth noting, that in the presence of our King, what can begin

as a moment [we] create, In an effort to glorify Him,

can so easily be transformed into a platform on which to parade our own Pride in ourselves –

In our status, or position;

our glorious intentions collide with the responsibilities

of the Freedom we have been granted through the cross.

This tension, the Freedom of choosing submission,

of laying aside any of our rights to recognition for the sake of [His] fame,

is the tension of sacrifice;

a sacrifice of praise.

We can ride on [our] pride for a time,

on momentum, repetition;

But he does not share his glory with anyone.

He keeps his distance from the proud, and gives grace to the humble.

Yet even when our intentions to glorify Him

are marred by selfish ambition… He melts, he leans in.

For so great is His desire to love and be loved,

to meet our advances, however feeble,

that he sent even His only Son to suffer for our sin,

so that even in rebellion, we could approach Him.

This is the Good News of Salvation.

Thus, Grace descends, a beautiful demolition

of anything – any wall, any reason – that might keep us from Him.

Even in trying to elevate our King,

We are prone to fall short, sidetracked with ourselves,

with shallow, material things.

Yet, because of Jesus, he comes. So gently, so humbly.

His Spirit resounding in ours - reassuring, comforting.

A servant King, seeking to relieve the burdens that weigh us down,

the walls and wounds that keep His love out,

and restore us to friendship with Him.

At this encounter,

All security built on human promotion melts.

All confidence built on deeds we have done is stripped back,

and exposed.

Any value we may have attained by any means other than His Word

is suddenly undone.

We can boast of nothing, save our need of His Love,

and breath,

and song in our lungs.

He is, we are.

He has always been, and will always be. We are merely a breath of air,

Subject to his majesty. And yet we are his masterpiece, His bride.

The object of His passion.

Humbled in our realization that We are the ones wooed,

and can give him nothing,

our resistance is broken.

[For everything comes from Him; everything exists by His power

and is intended for His glory.]

It is in this understanding, this revelation, that there is freedom.

Freedom to love him in abandon,

and stand with arms wide open, in the rhythms of his Grace,

A receptor of His Redemption – not hiding,

but steadfastly trusting His heart.

We love, because He first loved us.

And it is on this foundation that we are built up,

and can never be shaken.

The Longing

Oh for a night of starry skies

Uncluttered by the hum of the city;

With it’s buildings looming ominously -

Silent, yet oppressive in their stark,

man-made rigidity.

Like a prison.  

The air is thick and heavy

down here.

The sky looks so different

through the bars of a cell. The stars

twinkle coldly, just beyond my reach;

Distant, like promises unfulfilled -

Promises of being with You,

and hearing You whisper,

drawing my soul to pursue.

To seek solitude,

And silence.

In an open space, far from the noise

Of the city, complicated and consumed

with itself, and its glory.

Far from the static of traffic,

roaring back and forth on the highway.

Aggressive. Ignorant. Busy.

They twinkle overhead,

Unhurried, unmoved by all the bustle.

Like sentinels manning their posts,

faithfully reflecting His beauty

without force and without pride.

Patiently. He waits…

To be desired, and sought out,

And pursued.

The Creator, and Author of  Life.