In search of a Home

Life is fragile, and good, and beautiful and complex at times, and almost never what we expect it to be. 

Most of all, it is fleeting.

Sometimes, it even feels foreign.

Daily routines I become so accustomed to, so familiar with -

moments that would usually be filled with meaning and beauty -

can sometimes feel achingly empty;

hollow patterns only echoing of Home.

What is "Home" though, truly? And why does it feel like we naturally measure our sense of comfort and acceptance at given moments in time by our individual experiences or perceptions of the idea?

Is 'Home' a need to feel safe and warm inside, out of reach of any harsh and volatile storms, or danger? Is it a relationship, a community? A nation? 

Whichever it is, it seems to dictate our sense of direction, the relationships we form, the places we choose to live… the journey that we're all on.

Home. Where is that?

Many of us have had a sense of 'Home' modeled well to us, and the rest of our lives are spent following that pattern of creating a home for ourselves, and others. 

Then there are those who have never known what it is to have one - a safe place to retreat to, to find rest, and comfort and warmth. And safety.

Yet their lives are still lived in search of such a place, or person. It's like we were born with that purpose, born in search of a place, or a person - or something - to call Home. Somewhere to belong.

On the other hand, what happens when you do have a physical place to call home, and life still feels void of any sense of it? A relationship feels foreign, distant… A loved one passes away; money runs out, a house burns down, people change their minds… A nation goes to war, injustice ruins peace; trust is abused, innocence is lost.

These things happen frequently in our lives. Homes are often disintegrating. No one is really immune to homelessness. 

I have been reminded, in 'homeless' moments such as these, when even life I am well accustomed to can feel foreign, that the beauty I know - in Love, in sunsets and skies; in a hug or a whisper, or a kiss goodnight - is merely a shadow of the beauty I was formed to behold. I am deeply reminded that this place, and everything here, will never be my true home.

I remember that I am just a wanderer here, a traveller passing through.

Not stationary, but ever journeying towards You.

In these fleeting, fragile moments, You are steadfast. 

Your ancient Love outlasts any Love I've ever known;

Tossed about on the shifting seas of my own Trust, in search of a safe harbor,

a place to anchor, I drift… tired and weary.

Like a faithful beacon, glowing out into the dark, 

having witnessed and weathered every storm,

You remain.

The safest harbor, the strongest tower;
Trustworthy.

You are the only one that rescues, that keeps me from sinking.

Solid rock under my feet, upon You I am strong.

Words fill the air, full of promise,

but Your Words are my fortress, my future.

My foundation. 

You have had the first Word from the beginning, 

You who authored life.

'Before the mountains were born,

before You gave birth to the earth

and the World,

from eternity to eternity,

You are God' - Psalm 90:2 CSB

'Say this: "God, you're my refuge.

I trust in you and I'm safe!"

That's right - he rescues you from hidden traps,

shields you from deadly hazards.

His huge outstretched arms protect you -

under them you're perfectly safe;

his arms fend off all harm.

Yes, because God's your refuge,

the High God your very own home,

evil can't get close to you,

harm can't get through the door." - Psalm 91 TM

"My help and glory are in God -

granite-strength and safe-harbor-God -

So trust him absolutely, people;

lay your lives on the line for him.

God is a safe place to be." -Psalm 62:8 ™

He is Home. 

My original home.

I have the privilege of experiencing a beautiful sense of home here on earth; in relationship, in community, in a physical building. But if these 'homes' I encounter are built merely on physical soil, and tangible things - on a desire to feel safe -  my soul will remain homeless. For what we see before us is subject to decay and ruin, it is temporal. 

"The life of mortals is like grass, 

they flourish like a flower of the field; 

the wind blows over it and it is gone,

and its place remembers it no more." 

- Psalm 103:15 NIV -

"O LORD, what are mortals that you should notice us,

mere humans that you should care for us?"

- Psalm 144:3 NLT -

Our humanity seems so indomitable. But at the core, it is fragile.

Yet Jesus became one of us, when he emptied himself of his immortality, and entered our world as a vulnerable, mortal man, with "no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him". And yet "the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all"; he endured it all for us. He absorbed it all, all our ruin and decay, obediently and without complaint, so that death would no longer define us. So that we could build our lives upon Him, who conquered death and rose again, securing our adoption into an eternal household, an eternal kingdom. 

We who are so fragile are yet so precious; the Father placed the highest value on humanity when he saw fit to become one of us, and walk amongst us.

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses,

but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are -

yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence,

so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

- Hebrews 4:15-16 NIV -

In Him we are safe, regardless of what we face here on earth. We were fashioned for eternity; to behold him, in all his radiant beauty.

That is the Good News, the invitation extended to us;  no matter what crumbles and disintegrates momentarily - and it does - HE never fails. He offers himself as our refuge in the midst of failure, or disappointment, or fear; when everything we know has changed shape, he never changes. 

What an opportunity! How amazing it is, how humbling, that he would extend such an invitation to us - wandering vagrants and sinners though we are - over and over again: of making God himself a refuge, and stronghold, and shelter. 

We were born to build a home, but a home far superior - far more secure, than the homes we spend so much time building here on earth. In the end, it's the house built upon the rock that will outlast the storms.

The Home made in Him.

[The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see.] [ Hebrews 11, The Message]

When a Song becomes a Soundtrack...

I love that before a soundtrack becomes a soundtrack, it’s just a random collection of individual songs.

There’s nothing too noteworthy in any individual song in and of itself, other than a catchy melody or creative progression or lyric we might momentarily admire the first time we hear it playing on the radio. But it has no particular personal connection, and soon we’ve moved on and forgotten about it.

Unbeknown to you, that song gets woven into the soundtrack of a film that mirrors back to you the emotions we all feel at one point or another in the story it tells; the challenges, joys, fears, moments and questions we experience in life.

The way you hear that particular song changes entirely from then on. 

It’s a funny thing.

Music completes the picture, it completes our experiences. It seems to explain a depth to things that plain words cannot. Movies would not be movies without a score. Somehow, music becomes essential to telling the WHOLE story, helping us make more sense of it all. It’s almost as if music connects the personal experiences and ordinary scenes of life with so much more meaning than we often feel, and we can identify with films – we love them - because we’re all right here in the grit of everyday life ourselves. And to be reminded that there is meaning to the daily grind, day in, day out, seems to be a constant need for humanity; the highs and lows, the fears and joys, the sorrows and victories. We crave a greater sense of purpose for it all. There’s got to be a method to the madness, surely!

So when a random song helps to interpret part of your story, it suddenly becomes your soundtrack. It has personal significance. That particular song now reminds you of where you’ve been, and what you’ve felt and thought and experienced. What you’ve LIVED. And it means so much more, because of that personal connection. You know it off by heart.

I recently saw The Secret Life of Walter Mitty in the theatre with friends, which got me thinking along these lines, because I found myself wanting to listen to the soundtrack of the movie again afterward, and loved how each song brought back different scenes in the movie. Each song held something it had never held for me before. I had listened to a couple of the artists and songs already, that were in the soundtrack, before seeing the movie, but never thought much of them past the fact that they were pretty good songs. Just standard, Indie pop songs. 

But because I loved the movie, and the message it sends, and identified strongly with its themes, the songs have now taken on new meaning for me. To the point where I wanted to hear them again, to remember what appealed to me about it, and the emotions and feelings I experienced when watching the movie.

This in turn, got me thinking about God, and us, and music, and how He has written a story, that is also incomplete without a soundtrack…

But this soundtrack, we have been given the opportunity to write ourselves.

Each of us has a personal testimony of His saving grace and goodness: a personal experience that has changed the outcome of our lives forever, and given them purpose and Hope for the day in, day out. He has saved us, and allowed us to know his Presence and companionship, day-to-day. That is Life, more abundant and fulfilling than anything else. He created it, and he makes himself available to us, right in the grit of it. He holds it all together. He knows the monotony of a day in, day out. Of joy, and pain and sorrow, rejection, regret, victory, hope, love and laughter. Going home, waking up, spending time with friends, cleaning the house, walking down the street. Working hard. Nothing is too complex or simple for him. He wants to do it all with us, and he showed us this when he sent Jesus to the earth, to proclaim his love and salvation to all people, and invite us to take part in the biggest story there ever was.

It is He that makes beautiful things out of us. He is the author and finisher of Life. Ultimate meaning is found in him. He is the end and the beginning.

The soundtrack to THIS story is our worship. Each of us has a song to sing, whether we’re musical or not; a personal experience to remember and commemorate his involvement in our lives. A platform from which response is due. Our songs together are helping to tell the WHOLE story, so that the watching world’s quest for meaning and purpose will be fulfilled forever, in the release of the complete and perfect picture of HIS love for us, and for them.

I sing, because I want to remember what he’s done for me, remember that I have life, and life abundant, that he stepped into my life, that I had a real and personal experience. My song reminds me of my purpose, and connects others to a bigger picture. A whole, complete picture. A picture the World is waiting to see.

When a song becomes a soundtrack…

Though you might feel like ‘a random song’ no one really listens to, sing, and sing LOUD. Because you are being woven into a much bigger story than just your own, and your song is becoming part of the soundtrack to the greatest ‘movie’ of all time.

All of our ‘random songs’ are making up the soundtrack to HIS story. A story is made complete with music.

Our Worship.

The soundtrack connects us to the story. And it will connect the World to the Story.

[Your decrees have been the theme of my songs wherever I have lived. I reflect at night on who you are, O LORD; therefore, I obey your instructions. This is how I spend my life: obeying your commandments.]

Psalm 119:54-56 NLT